Mildred Fister’s beauty parlor in Jefferson, Iowa, has an unusual rule. Mildred refuses to allow gossip. A columnist for the Des Moines Register reacted this way:
This is a beauty parlor, for goodness’ sake, one of those places women come to say things—loving, kind, unkind, and, sure, maybe downright nasty—about their friends and neighbors—whether it’s true or not.
It’s as basic in a beauty parlor as a blow dry. Isn’t it?
“Not here,” [Fister] says. There is absolutely no talking about other people in Mildred Fister’s shop. Talk about you and yours if you like… but in the meantime, no gossip.” (“John Carlson’s Iowa,” Des Moines Register (5-8-05)
I don’t know Mildred, but I like her kind. She’d be welcome here at Twin Oaks. We have the same policy here. It is in our membership covenant that every member agrees to when they join: “I will strengthen the unity of my church… by refusing to gossip.” It is a core value here. So much so that on those rare occasions when someone tries to share gossip in the church, members have been known to tell them “I don’t need to hear that. We don’t do that here at Twin Oaks.” We like to say about gossip: “If you aren’t part of the problem or part of the solution you don’t need to be part of the discussion.”
I’m afraid that sometimes churches have been as famous for gossip as beauty parlors. But not here. We strive to make Twin Oaks a gossip-free zone. To help us keep it that way let me make a few suggestions:
· If you have a concern about someone, talk to God first, and that person second. That’s biblical.
· If you feel it is a church matter, talk to an elder or pastor, not your friends.
· Please don’t use Facebook as a venue to air your relationship problems, especially when it involves fellow church members.
· If someone tries to share gossip with you, cut them off and tell them to cut it out.
I tell prospective members and newcomers in my 101 classes that Twin Oaks is one of the most gossip-free churches you’ll ever find. Thank you for making it that way. And thank you for helping us to keep it that way.
